


I See The Light

by Titti



Series: Christmas Challenges 2020 [17]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Challenge Response, Christmas, Community: adventdrabbles, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28123029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: After a fight, James has to learn to open up.
Relationships: Scorpius Malfoy/James Sirius Potter
Series: Christmas Challenges 2020 [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2064171
Kudos: 17





	I See The Light

**Author's Note:**

> Written For:  
> newyearcntdown at LJ/DW - Prompt: Scarf  
> adventdrabbles at LJ/DW - Prompt: Paper Lantern Lights
> 
> Title and Lyrics from Tangled.

"I can't do this anymore." Scorpius moved around James' bedroom, picking up his things.

"What are you on about?" James asked.

"Me, you, us. I can't do it anymore. We've been together for over a year, but when I need to know something about you, when something is wrong, I still have to ask Albus or Rose. Jamie, it's not normal. You refuse to say anything. You are hurt, you close off. You are happy, you close off. You are angry, you close off. Do you see a pattern here?" Scorpius asked, shaking his head. "I love you, more than I can say and I thought that we could do this. I really did. When you asked me to move in with you, I thought finally we had some kind of breakthrough, but that was just so you could control how much information leaves this house."

"What you share with your father is weird," James said.

"And what you don't share is infinite," Scorpius said. "You are so scared of letting people see anything but perfection that you even keep things from your family. You're not perfect, no one is, but if you insist on pretending, you will be the Wizarding World's Sweetheart, as all the papers call you, but you will also be miserable, and I can't be miserable with you. I'm sorry, I've tried, I've talked, I've asked, but you keep making a joke out of it."

Scorpius closed the gap between then and kissed James softly, cupping his jaw with a gentle touch. "I love you, but I can't do this anymore. I hope you find a person you trust."

***

"You've been impossible," Albus said while they were having breakfast in the enormous kitchen in Grimmauld Place. The two brothers and Lily had moved in here after leaving Hogwarts, each had a private floor and they shared the other three, although they rarely had any guests that weren't family or related to someone in the D.A.

"Albus is holding back, because you've been an arse since Scorpius broke up with you," Lily added. "I have no idea what you did, but you should apologise. He's the best thing that ever happened to you and the only boyfriend you've had who doesn't give a shit about our dad."

"He made it clear that he doesn't want to be with me. The fact that he moved out should have been your first clue," James said, sighing. 

"Or maybe you should finally start trusting him with what's inside your head," Albus said. "Come on, Jamie, even Mom and Dad can't figure you out. Everything comes easy to James. He's happy. He's this and that. You can do no wrong."

"Yah, why can't you be caught making out outside a pub?" Lily said.

"Because I'm know better, unlike you. Thomas had his hand up your skirt, you could see your knickers. You _knew_ it would end up in some magazine," James said.

"And so it did. What of it? The world didn't end, Jamie. Grandma was a little upset-"

Albus snorted. " I'd say she was more than a little upset. She sent you a howler a day for a week straight."

Lily rolled her eyes. "The point being that nothing happened. You used to be fun in school, have friends, then you got out and you became some kind of monk locked in a monastery."

"Yes, because I learned while in school that you can't trust anyone. They all want to be close to Dad somehow," James pointed out.

"Except for Scorpius," Albus said with a grin. "Just… look, if you want to break up, then I'll be here to support you as usual, but if you love him, then get your head out of your arse and tell him, because he loves you and you two are good together."

James stood up. "I have to go to practice. Last game before the holidays." He disapparated before they could say more.

Lily shook her head. "He's an idiot."

"Yes, but he's our idiotic brother. Without us, he has no one."

***

Scorpius had moved back three weeks ago. His father and grandparents had said nothing, although he knew that his grandfather was dying to mention what an arse James was. Scorpius might even agree with him. Especially tonight, with James showing up at the manor two days before Christmas. "What are you doing here?"

"Will you let me in?" James asked.

"Depends, and you haven't answered my question," Scorpius said, standing at the door and not budging.

"You forgot to pack this," James said, handing Scorpius a Slytherin scarf.

"That's not mine. You know I stopped wearing Slytherin scarves when I left Hogwarts." He took the scarf, reaching for one of the edges. "A.S.P. embroidered right here, just like your grandmother does to all of your scarves. Not that you would know, right?" Scorpius sighed. "You don't need to steal Albus' scarves if you want to talk to me."

James climbed the last step and took Scorpius' hand in his. "I'm sorry, that was stupid. I… It's not easy for me. Everyone always expects me to be perfect, as great as my grandfather and Sirius, people I've never met them, be the prankster that Uncle George was, the student Uncle Bill, Uncle Percy and Aunt Hermione were, the brave one as my father, the great player like my mother. I can't afford to have any weakness."

Scorpius took James' hand between his. "You're human, Jamie. You keep going like this, you'll explode."

"I know. I talked to you more than anyone else, more than Albus and Lily. They might know things, but it's just because they are my siblings. I don't tell them anything," James said. "I … need you. I don't know how much I can open up, but I want to try, if you'll give me the chance. I'll do my best, because I don't want to lose you, but before you answer, I want to show you something. Put your cloak on."

Scorpius didn't hesitate. He put on the cloak and they walked to the gates, before the side-along Apparition took them not too far from where they were. "Aren't we near the Burrow?"

James nodded. "We used to come and play here. I loved it, because… if you laugh I'll hex you."

Scorpius rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't be so stupid to laugh after asking you to open up."

"Right, so there was this film that I used to watch at Aunt Hermione's, and … I should probably show you." James took out his wand and cast a spell. Hundreds of paper lantern lights began floating up, the lights reflected on the dark waters. 

" _And at last I see the light, and it's like the fog is lifted. And at last I see the light and it's like the sky is new. And it's warm and real and bright, and the world has somehow shifted. All at once, everything is different, now that I see you_ ," James sang softly.

"Oh, I know that film, the one with Rapunzel. Tangled, right?" Scorpius asked.

"I was obsessed with that film. I loved _I have a Dream_ , because it's all about going against expectations. It said what I felt without me realizing it. I mean I was four when the movie came out. As much as I loved that song, that scene with the lights- It always made me feel like I could do anything I wanted. I haven't been able to do that, though. I always worry about expectations, and it's… exhausting. I don't want to do that anymore, especially if it means losing you. Let's try again. Please."

Scorpius hugged James tight. "We'll do this together."

James kissed him. "I love you."

Scorpius smiled. "I love you, too."


End file.
